I honestly dont no,

Have you ever felt like something should feel so wrong,?
but you dont have regreets about doing it?

Thats how i feel now, i know that hurting you was mistake
but for once in a long time i felt happy,
Not after i found out i hurt you
but i haven't smiled like that in ages,

You really do mean allot to me,
but i have no idea how to make it up to you

What if?

Im not too sure how people handle hard situations,
and make it though without an easy yet selfish way out,

Sometimes i think about how bad my life is,
when really i should be greatful that i have people who love me.
no allot people have family friends
or anything really take people who get bullied
and put down so much they cant take anymore
and decide to make it all go away,
little do they know, that in doing so they just put the pain on family and friends
and people who cared about them admired them and would give the world to see
them smile,
Some people dont relise they death is death,
and thinking that you are going to kill 'yourself for the sake of showing someone
that you were in pain or that they hurt you
wont help cause once your dead you are gone, life is precious,
in 2010 there were allot of deaths. and no one found them happy
some people will  suffer there whole life
and thoes were acsedental so why take your life cause its hard?
think of the people around you that do care,

Ive ben having strong feeling about people dieing and death latley,
and well i dont think i would be able to go though with hurting people around me
so i could escape life,
and the hell of a world that we got put in.

(:

You know those extremally crazy nights that you will never forget?
i must say i had one of those last night with Paris (:

i will never forget the cutts and brooses from that night ! (:
i absolutly LOVE YOU!

Im so lost without people leading me but at some pint you have to learn to let go,
even with parents.
they love you, i think
If you love me, You have a weird way of showing it,
ever since i told you, i cant do anything right.

I havent done this in a wile,
for several reasons,
Mabye cause the thoughts that are going through my head are
not what i want the world to read,
lifes a bit blue latly
and i have run out of words..

I feel like no one gets me or understands what is happening in my life lately.
i cant talk to anyone cause people dont ever no what others are going through and most of the time,
they act like they know everything

Love?

I hate the feelings i still get for you..
I mean,
why did you have to tell me that... when i was starting to forget all the memories..
Now every things coming back,
and i'm getting the same feeling i got when you told me you "fucked up"
I knew what you meant straight away,
i miss our phone calls, all night and i love the sound of your voice..
and your hugs, i didn't care that my parents hated you or that it was hard to see you
every minute was worth it..
I mean it hurt allot that you talked to other chicks and i new that you were cause of what you would say to your friends and i even got to see messages,

I dunno, i love you i mean that, the feels never gone away, i can point out the exact place we first kissed,
and you were the only guy anything felt right with..
I cant date people anymore,
i hate it cause so many good guys like me but i'm too scared to open up and when you feel like you've
found the right person, you no it..
I no i'm young and its hard to say its love but i dunno what else it could be,
I can remember everything about you, you had a certain smell and it wasnt your cologne
I had a jacket that smelled like you,,,
When i moved i slept with it every night till the smell went away,
and when you told me what you did.. i got rid of it.

The other night i turned on my old phone,
cause i wanted to go through the pictures and stuff,
and i found some old ones of you and read the messages that were still there.
i dont think ive ever cried so hard in my life, i really miss you,

Such is life.

As far as life goes,
its like a rollarcoaster,
 You wish death on people because you hate them.
or something messed up that one friendship, than you dont no exectly what, but you loose all faith in that person. and as much as you want to let them back in and let them earn back your trust and respect,
a part of you never fully gives it back.
Thats cause its human nature, War leaves men in tears grown men, and they develop hatered for the other side, even if they did nothing personally to them.

I have to say that, in the past few months of living in this town ive met some amazing people,
and just recently ive invitede two more into my heart,
Jodee, and Georgia.
Its ben a fair few months, but as far as friends come im not quick to jump the gun.
i truly feel as if i was ment to meet them, and in that sence, its not a friendship.
its a sisterhood.
Most people think its impossible to have a three way bestfriend-ship, but why do they have
"Best Friends Forever" Neclaces? thats because,
Bestfriends,
One word,
But it easily can be spit, and with out the first part its just "Friend"
With the third part.
FOREVER.
That friend ship stays cause when one is down you have the others,
and it lasts cause the people you pick can put up with anything,
And when you break off one part.
you still have BESTFRIENDS.